Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
