Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
