fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
