everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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