Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
