I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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