...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
