the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
you had me at cake vodka
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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