Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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