Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
