TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
