I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
