I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
