I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My life is pants optional.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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