Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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