i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Randomize
