the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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