I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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