So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
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He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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