I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I want to be your penis for a week.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
