Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
