please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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