it wasn't lemon gatorade
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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