i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
not ubering you a puppy
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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