I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
