ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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