We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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