i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
