A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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