So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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