She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize