pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Your cock deserves a montage
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
