Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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