all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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