I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Maybe he injected his testicle?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
