Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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