I seem to have left my pride at pride
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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