Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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