The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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