at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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