What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
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Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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