Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Randomize
