There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
your room smells of hookers.
And success
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
