yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
They left me at home... I'm a liability
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
