I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
