Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
