He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Randomize
