remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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