You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
