the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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