ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
