Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just had sex on a roof
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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