it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
