why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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