Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
