I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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