there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
