help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
