why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
They have beer where we have blood.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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