just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
