this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
